Hello. Did you know there's this bar over here? People like bars. That's something we'd read on the internet.

Before opening, we spent a lot of time collecting the opinions — sorry, expert opinions — of people no different than you. The result? Um, weemp... aaaand womp. All you deserve a dingy hole. On a deadish street. With cans instead of bottles. Plus we’ve called the bar “one star;" yup, lower case one star in quotes, just so you can post what utter morans we are. Whatever. Raterz gonna rate.